Who Deserves Cheese?
Certain people in this world deserve cheese and certain people don't - it's just that simple. We finally finished putting together a list of people who fall into one category or the other. Various people have collaborated with us on this list and it is by no means complete. When putting people into one category or the other, remember these simple guidelines: a person who deserves cheese must shine above others in some way. They usually have done something or posses at least one quality that sets them apart from the crowd. A person doesn't necessarily have to be famous to deserve cheese. Certain groups of people may also be eligible to deserve cheese as a single unit (i.e. a band or a football team). Those who don't deserve cheese just suck. Places, inanimate objects, ideas, and anything else you can think of can also fall into one category or the other. Cheese Bob Marley --- John Candy --- Crispus Attuks --- the one, the only, Granville Waiters --- Mr. Yuck --- Conan O'Brien --- Margaret Thatcher's naughty bits (after a 12 pack) --- Govt. Mule --- Ween --- Jack Klugman --- Joe Don Baker (drunk, puffy, and abusive) --- Lee Van Cleef --- Cheese --- Jimi Hendrix --- Stevie Ray Vaughan --- Stevie Wonder --- James Brown --- Black Sabbath --- Phish --- the Flaming Lips --- Primus --- Terminator X --- Snoop Doggy Dog --- the Houston Astros --- Joe Namath --- Phil Hartman --- Montgomery Burns --- the Looney Tunes --- Battlestar Galactic --- Star Blazers --- Art Garfunkel --- John Lee Hooker --- Most of Santana (circa 1969) --- Les Paul --- Michael Hedges --- Good Ol' Bessie --- Pink Floyd --- Steve Martin --- Black Jack Shellack --- Nigel Incubator Jones --- Mr. LuxuryYacht (pronounced ThroatWobblerManGrove) --- Al Franken --- Spiny Norman --- Boo Boo Kitty --- Doug and Dinsdale Piranha --- Lemming of the B.D.A. --- Herbie Hancock --- Kevin Phillips Booonng --- Root Snappin' Fun --- Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith --- Pigeons Landing --- Concorde --- Rush --- Oscar the Grouch --- J.J. from Good Times --- Garfield --- Jethro Tull --- Angelo Badallamenti --- David Lynch --- Danny Elfman No Cheese The Goo Goo Dolls --- Rick Dees --- John Tesh --- Andrew Ridgley --- Mrs. Doubtfire --- Jay Leno --- Margaret Thatcher's naughty bits (early in the evening) --- Celine Dion (really, any new so-called "Diva", but especially Celine Dion) --- Ally McBeal --- Molly Ringwald --- Joey Lawrence --- Warrant --- Matchbox 20 --- 3rd Eye Blind --- the Offspring (specifically Dexter Holland) --- MC Hammer --- OJ --- Mary Lou Retton --- Jim Neighbors --- Gary Glitter's large bulbous head --- The God of Kiwi --- Cher --- Jessie Helms --- Yanni --- Bare Naked Ladies --- Brian Austin Green --- Keanu Reeves --- Young Elvis --- Steve Urkle --- the Ring-tailed Lemur --- Rubber Nipples --- Judge Judy --- Tom & Jerry --- Aquaman --- Jim J. Bullock --- Rex Reed --- Rush Limbaugh --- One piece of strawberry tart with not so much rat on it --- Andy Rooney --- Meatloaf (the food or the singer) --- STD's --- Sharri Lewis --- Lady Elaine Fairchild --- The Proclaimers --- Collen Ferguson --- Bruce Springsteen --- Heathcliff --- Vanilla Ice --- Microsoft --- Bush --- Nato --- Alanis Morisette See Also (You) Don't Deserve Cheese